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Does sex no longer give you pleasure? Or worse, has it become painful? For many women over 50, these feelings can be common. After menopause you may face an increasing number of obstacles to sex, including vaginal dryness and tightness, or medical conditions such as diabetes and excess weight.
And this doesn’t just happen to you. Gynecologist Dr. Katie Propst, MD, offers tips to help you overcome the odds so you can enjoy an active sex life well into your 70s and 80s.
Lubrication and hydration
The vagina can become narrower if you are not sexually active, so one of the most important things you can do to maintain function (avoiding atrial atrophy ) is to keep having sex. Try using a lubricant during sexual activity and if that is not enough, you can also use moisturizer. Lubricants are only used for intercourse purposes, and a vaginal moisturizer is like a moisturizer for the skin on the rest of your body. Use it on a regular basis if you are experiencing dryness. Some moisturizers are made for both purposes and will say so on the packaging
To avoid sensitivity to any product, be sure to use water-based, fragrance-free lubricants and moisturizers. And be sure to avoid washing as it can dry out.
Take your time and relax
To deal with the pain of vaginal dryness, allow plenty of time for stimulation – enjoy this game. And experiment with different positions with your partner. You can also take a warm bath before sex to relax your muscles and prepare for intimacy.
Dr. Propst also notes that stress can often derail your sex life. “We’re all so busy, but if you want to stay ‘close’ to your partner, you have to make time for them,” she says, noting that this might mean scheduling dates or taking time away from other things to keep her alive. the important contact.
Review your health and medications
Dr. Propst says it can often be overall health or an underlying medical condition that’s lowering your libido. Sometimes checking your medications and adjusting your doses or changing the medications you take will help. A clinician may also recommend medications such as vaginal estrogens low-dose for postmenopausal women if lubricants and moisturizers are not effective. If estrogen doesn’t help, there are other medications and treatments to help with the discomfort.
Make sure you have any health problems under control, get enough sleep and avoid alcohol. If you’re overweight, it’s a good idea to focus on increasing your physical activity and eating a healthy diet. It is not always easy at this age to lose weight, but if you move you will feel better and have energy and confidence.
Contact your partner
Focus on communication and intimacy. Keep in mind that talking about sex should be the same as talking about any challenging issue in a relationship. Dr. Propst suggests describing how you feel about certain situations.
“Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself if there are things going on in your life or in your relationship that are preventing you from having sex with your partner. A lack of desire is often related to relationship issues,” she says. And she adds “relationship barriers tend to affect women more than men when it comes to sex. If you can’t find solutions on your own, a therapist may be able to help you and your partner.”
Get creative
Some medical conditions limit sexual activity. Then couples should get more creative. Try different sex positions, try alternatives to massage, different types of lubricants and sex toys. Enjoy the intimacy of these alternatives and remember to laugh. And don’t be discouraged if you don’t agree on everything – try to find something you both accept as fun or interesting to try.
Talk to your doctor
Sometimes women can feel uncomfortable talking about sexuality when they see their gynecologist, but don’t miss this opportunity to have a real conversation with your doctor.
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