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Knowledge can equal sexual bliss. Learning more about each other’s sex zones, how much stimulation you need and what turns you on can take your sex life to new heights.
Physical contact is a powerful tool that builds connection and trust. Sex therapists use a technique called sensual focus. It’s an exercise that explores how different kinds of touch make you feel. It also reduces the pressure to achieve a sexual “goal” such as orgasm or penetration. Practicing sensual touch can help partners grow closer and make intimacy more enjoyable.
Trust each other:Studies show that couples who aren’t honest about what they do and don’t enjoy in the bedroom are more likely to feel unsatisfied. So tell each other if your libido is lagging or if you’re having trouble reaching orgasm. Let your partner know, too, if you’re feeling self-conscious about your body or if something makes you feel uncomfortable.
Treatment: Sessions with a certified sex therapist can improve intimacy issues by helping you communicate better, guiding you through touch exercises, and educating you about arousal and desire. If your problems stem from other issues, talk therapy can also benefit your entire relationship.
Stay Flexible: Sex is not normal. What you like, how often you want it, and how important it is to you is different for everyone. Your libido and priorities can change over time with age, physical health, and the stresses of everyday life. Couples who remain curious and flexible about their sexual needs tend to feel better about themselves, which in turn paves the way for a more fulfilling sex life.
They give time: As you get older, your body takes longer to respond to sexual stimulation. Lower testosterone levels in older men can make it harder to get and keep an erection. The drop in estrogen during menopause can lead to a dry vagina and slower arousal in women. Try to spend enough time to enjoy sex with each other.
Experimentation: Could your sex life be stuck in a rut? Try different positions, movements, touches and stimuli to bring back the spice. New techniques can also heighten sensations so you can climax more often.
Partner Care: Research shows that couples who care about their partner’s satisfaction — and who derive joy from the other person’s pleasure — are happier. This might mean having sex more often than you’re used to, having it at different times than usual for you, or fantasizing about your partner sexually.
They seek satisfaction: Practice makes perfect: When you do things that increase endorphins in your body — from sex, exercise, laughter, art, or any activity that brings you joy — you create and strengthen the response pathway that helps you feel stimulated more easily .
They use tools: Some people may see using lubrication to reduce dryness or propping up their position with a pillow during sex as an admission that they need help turning their partners on. But the opposite is true. The more attentive you are to the comfort of your partner and yourself, the better your experience will be.
They limit porn: Photographic or literary romance can heat up the bedroom for some couples. But a heavy porn habit can hinder some men’s ability to get an erection and achieve orgasm with their partner. Porn also creates unrealistic expectations of what real sex is like. This can destroy their partner’s self-esteem and damage the relationship.
They are not obsessed with orgasm: Climax is not the goal of every intercourse. For some partners, it can create a lot of pressure. Touching in a sensual way or connecting in whatever form works for you and your partner is enough to build closeness.
They read each other: Understanding where your partner’s sexual “trigger point” is can go a long way toward fulfilling sex. Some people, usually men, can lift the mood instantly and without stimulation. Others, often women, need a cue to arouse. Addressing these differences can enhance your mutual satisfaction.
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