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When was the last time you walked with your partner on the beach under the moonlight? Do you remember the last time you had a wonderful candlelit dinner? Really, when have you laughed while watching a movie cuddled up on the couch?
Don’t you remember? Does that seem too far? Probably because for most, the stress of the office, the endless hours of commuting, the chores at home and all the daily demands of life, put obstacles in the way of the desire to enjoy small special moments with your loved ones that will allow you to still connect more.
But how can this become a reality? It takes a certain kind of dedication, work and understanding for people to come together, both in and out of the bedroom, according to the clinical psychologist Dana Brendz, PsyD.
“It starts with knowing how to make your loved one feel loved and showing it,” says Dr. Brendza. “Different people prefer different ways to express their love and also look for different ways to receive it. It’s the gifts, the encouragement, the devotion, the help, the surprises, the quality time, the little romantic moments.”
When you speak a different love language
Let’s say there is a married couple. The husband believes that gifts are the way to his partner’s heart, so he works a lot of overtime to buy the fancy clothes and jewelry. Meanwhile, his wife values quality time over gifts. He would rather not work overtime but spend the extra time at home with her. Unfortunately, they have not communicated their wishes to each other. Dr. Brendza says you can learn a lot by observing what gives your partner the most satisfaction. Or you can ask your partner directly.
9 tips to create moments of intimacy:
- Eliminate obstacles. If you want to have a romantic evening together, book a date. Arrange for someone to watch the children. Sleep earlier the night before. Think about what your partner likes eg music, low light, favorite wine, flowers, smells and prepare it.
- Show your appreciation.Don’t be constantly on the phone during dinner. Set the table together, share everything in this romantic evening. Give your partner what he likes best, from the food to the whole atmosphere
- Recognize efforts. When you see your partner doing something to show you their love, say so. Even if he does something he doesn’t really like, but you do, acknowledge it and talk to him about it. Thank him for his continued effort.
- Discuss complaints. Too often, we may ignore our loved one’s complaints. Don’t do this because often these are connected to important needs of his that he may not be able to express to you in any other way. Speak up. Communication can bring positive results.
- Stay real.Consider faith as the highest commitment. Look him in the eyes and express to him the desire to be with him. Stay away from temptations and protect yourself from things that can break the relationship. Remember that if your partner doesn’t feel safe, doesn’t feel “liked”, it will be difficult for you to get closer.
- Play fair. Sometimes, we all lose our temper, but it’s important to fight fair. You can express your anger but without screaming or yelling because it doesn’t help intimacy.
- To flirt. Make your partner feel that you see him, that you are happy to be with him, that he is important to you. Compliment him. Tell him all the good things you find in him and make him feel important.
- Prepare your space. Make your bedroom comfortable and clean. Perfumed bath, body and hair care, cologne if the partner likes it. You can massage each other to help you relax.
- Talk about your needsWhen it comes to sex and intimacy, talk about what you like and don’t like. You don’t have to wait for a rose petal night to have a satisfying night with your partner. If you know each other’s needs and wants, it’s easier to satisfy each other.
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