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For many people, sex is a very emotional act. When you have sex, you may find that you feel many emotions, from pleasure to joy. Some people may even become so overcome with emotion that they begin to cry.
The first thing to know if you have ever found yourself in this situation is that it is completely normal in most cases. Although it could feel mildly annoying, it’s usually nothing to worry about. It helps to understand why it happened and what you could do to prevent it from happening again if that’s what you want.
If you’ve ever cried during sex, the immediate question you’ll ask yourself is “Why?” especially if the tears seem to have come out of nowhere. While crying is usually associated with sadness, many emotions could make you cry, from happiness to frustration. Here’s why this might be:
You hurt
Sex should never be painful. If you are in pain during sex, this may make you cry. To avoid this, tell your partner immediately if you feel pain. Pain during sex, also known as dyspareuniacan be the result of infection, injury or because there is a lack of lubrication.
You are sad or depressed
If you’ve struggled with feelings of sadness or depression, those feelings don’t go away during sex, even though sex is meant to be a pleasurable activity. If you’re sad or depressed, you may suddenly find yourself crying at random times in your day, and that could include sex. Depression is a challenging condition that must be managed with either medication, therapy, or a combination of both.
Are you satisfied
Believe it or not, you may cry during sex simply because you are extremely happy. This may be because you are having sex with a partner you love deeply, or you really enjoy sex with your partner. So don’t hold back and let the tears flow if you find yourself crying because you are so ecstatic. It can be an intimate bonding moment between you and your partner. It is of course important to explain to him that you are crying because you are so happy, so as not to worry your partner.
You are ashamed to have sex
Many people struggle with reservations about sex. This is mostly when they are out of marriage or a committed relationship. Some people even see sex as a dirty act.
If you are a person who thinks of sex as a shameful act, it is important to unlearn these feelings in order to have and enjoy sex comfortably. Let’s say you have any reservations about having sex with a certain person or in a certain situation. In this case, stop having sex until these feelings resolve and you feel more comfortable having sex.
You had an orgasm
Some people find that every time they have an orgasm, they cry a little. Orgasm is an intense physical response to pleasure when we have sex.
In a 2017 study, researchers found that people experience a wide range of emotions, from crying to sneezing to panic attacks after orgasm. It is known as a “periorgasmic phenomenon” and is rare.
You feel that everyday life has taken its toll on you
If work, life or any other personal issues are overwhelming you, this could affect you during sex. When you have sex, your body constantly releases a cocktail of hormones. If you combine the surge of hormones with stress or anxiety, you may cry. Some people also have a condition called sexual performance anxiety that could cause them to cry during sex. Research shows that the disorder affects 9% to 25% of men and 6% to 16% of women.
You are dealing with unresolved trauma
If you have been sexually or emotionally abused in the past, this could cause trauma. Having experienced sexual trauma can make having and enjoying sex after the incident complicated, especially if you have not yet healed your trauma.
You have discomfort after intercourse
Postcoital dysphoria is a condition that causes women to experience intense feelings of sadness after sex. In a 2015 study, researchers found that about 46% of participants had experienced post-coital distress at least once in their lives. If this happens to you, you may suddenly cry after or during sex, even if you enjoyed it. In some cases, you may even fight with your partner for no apparent reason during sex.
You are unhappy with your partner
Crying can be a sign of problems in your relationship. If you’ve been dealing with emotional issues with your partner or have thoughts of breaking up, it can all come to a head during sex. If this is the case, it is important to discuss this with your partner so that you can both work to either repair the relationship or go your separate ways.
You are experiencing hormonal changes
Hormones released during sex, such as oxytocin and dopamine, cause feelings of relaxation and happiness. However, you may react to the rush of these hormonal changes—along with the physical and emotional intensity of sex—by tearing up or crying.
If you’re dealing with other conditions like premenstrual syndrome (PMS), pregnancy, menopause, or if you’re undergoing fertility treatment, your body undergoes hormonal changes that may cause you to cry during sex, too.
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