[ad_1]
While everything is going well, suddenly… “Why didn’t the boss answer the email? Tomorrow I have to pay the loan to the bank! To send the CV!”. The mind begins to “run” elsewhere, the beautiful moment dissolves and the relationship is tested.
“Obviously, if I’m trying to have sex and I’m thinking about different things, all of that at that moment will cause anxiety,” explains urologist-andrologist Konstantinos Rokkas. “Anxiety will cause erectile dysfunction and this will create a vicious cycle so that every time I want to have sex, I enter this story.”
The problem becomes even more intense for the couple when there is sexual dysfunction due to erectile problems, vaginal pain or reduced sexual desire.
“For women it might be easier, because they don’t have the phenomenon of erection, which is particularly obvious. On the contrary, men, when they bring problems to bed, face a bigger problem”, emphasizes Mr. Rokkas.
“The truth is that nowadays it is not easy to close the curtain and say “now I’m going to have sex and nothing else”. It’s quite a bit more difficult. One would think that e.g. the unemployed, who have more free time, would also be more relaxed. But perhaps they are in a worse position because of the limitation from their work, their finances and more. So an unemployed man who can have all the time in the world to have sex and can sleep until 11 in the morning is going to have a harder time focusing on sex.”
As the specialist urologist – andrologist points out, the temperament of each man plays an important role, on the basis of which it works differently. Equally important, however, is the relationship with his partner.
“I strongly believe that the role of the partner can prove to be valuable. If, for example, because things are not going very well, a woman mutters all day, at night, where are we going to have sex, is it easy to isolate all this and have sex without a problem? The man has no button to isolate himself. So the role of the partner/wife is important, since sex always takes two people. How she behaves, how critical she is…”.
In recent years, the solution to many problems that afflict modern man is none other than mindfulness, i.e. focusing on the “here and now” and the uncritical observation of thoughts and feelings.
So after recommendations from the National Health Service in England to develop mindfulness against recurrent depressive episodes, a focus on the “here and now” began to find fertile ground in overconsumption of food and alcohol, parenting and work but and… in love.
How can one achieve it in order to improve their sex life?
“Foreplay is very important, because many people, especially those in long-term relationships, treat sex as a process. They say: I should have sex once or twice a week, to satisfy my partner, because she is married, why, why, why…
First of all, I should have sex when I want it. Then the preliminaries play a very big role. Even the environment plays a role. How many times do we see a couple go on vacation alone, without company and children, even for a weekend? All this will greatly help the “here and now” of each contact”, explains the doctor.
“The couple must protect their relationship, their privacy. Children play a very big role in this story. When you’re in a house, where until 10 or 11 at night you have to organize a bunch of things for the kids, then it’s not as simple as saying, let’s go to bed and have sex. It would be much nicer to have gone out at night with your wife or partner and come home at night or be somewhere else. From the car to the hotel. It does not have to be done at home. Perhaps one should find more imaginative places than a simple bed. Therefore, taking care of the relationship comes first. Contact is not mechanical. Relationship brings good contact and good communication. These two cannot be separated from each other”.
As for smartphones, tablets and social media? If one wants to breathe life into one’s love life, one must separate them for a few hours. He takes them from the bedside table – as painful as that is these days – and necessarily leaves them somewhere far away, in the living room or the kitchen.
“In short we lower the blinds”, advises the expert. “We focus on the moment, we stop our thinking, we work, whenever possible, on the relationship with our partner, we create the right environment and we always proceed spontaneously and relaxed, in a beautiful love affair.”
[ad_2]
Source link
